Rules for Middle and High School Guys


It is hard to believe but school starts this week in the area I serve as a youth pastor. So yesterday, I did things a little different in our youth group. I split up the guys and gals so we could have some straight talk, my wife went with the girls and I went with the guys…of course. Why did I do this? Well, last week, I came across this post on Sandra Stanley’s blog: Allie’s Rules for High School. You can read it here. As I read through the post, I realized these are rules, or guidelines, I believe any girl in any youth group could benefit from them. As a result, I came up with a list of rules/guidelines for guys to share with the guys in our group. As you read through them, you will notice some similarities as I simply adopted them for a male audience. Therefore, I do not take full credit for all of these and want to give Allie Stanley full credit for the rules she came up with and thank you for taking the time to find ways to encourage the girls in your small group, and as a result, challenge girls around the country. Thank you Sandra Stanley for sharing these rules as well.

Now, I do not believe there is anything special in these rules in and of themselves. Could a guy follow all of these rules and still not have a relationship with Jesus? It is possible. But it is my prayer that if only ONE guy from this group catches on, he could change our area for Christ. With that said, here are the rules for middle and high school guys.

  1. Learn to put God first in everything.
  2. Lead – you are a leader in one way or another. Lead in a way that brings the best out of others.
  3. Stand up for those being picked on or mistreated. It will make you a stronger person.
  4. Live in such a way that when you graduate or move away, you will be remembered for who you were, not simply what you did. Being cool or popular will not take you very far in life.
  5. Go to church – even when you do not want to – and get involved.
  6. Spend time with God and learn to study God’s Word.
  7. Pray, pray, pray and pray some more. If you do not know how to pray…learn.
  8. Be careful what you put in front of your eyes. It is extremely difficult to “unsee” something.
  9. It is not okay to “window shop.” In other words, Respect the women in your life…your mom, teachers and the young ladies around you…and guard their hearts. Women are not an object for our pleasure.
  10. Be careful who you date, it will have a lasting impact on you more than you know.
  11. Set standards and stick to them even if your friends think they are silly. It will keep you from regretting something in your future.
  12. Stay vertical – Don’t do anything with a girl you would not want a guy doing with your future wife.
  13. Respect authority…from teachers, to coaches, to parents to anyone over you. You will always have people over you, learning to respect them even if you disagree with them is essential.
  14. Spend time with your family.
  15. Obey your parents, even when you do not want to. They know you better than you think and they care about you.
  16. If you are involved in any situation you would not want your parents or others to know about, get out of the situation immediately.
  17. Find an accountability partner and meet consistently for encouragement and challenge.
  18. Find an older man outside of your dad to regularly meet with to learn from.
  19. Do not let the world tell you how to live your life.
  20. Work hard at what you do. Do not get involved in anything that you will not be able to give 100% to.
  21. Don’t be afraid to say no. Better to be seen as a wimp than wind up dead.
  22. If you mess up with any of these rules, know this: God NEVER turns His back on us and will forgive. And I will be here for you.


Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you know a youth pastor, or a volunteer who works with youth or leads a small group of guys, feel free to share this with them.



About thetoddlynn

Follower of God, Husband, Father, Youth Pastor. View all posts by thetoddlynn

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